This is another unpublished piece, probably about a year and a half old. I don't even remember what the remark was about. It was a conversation I had with my Czech friend Tom, and I suppose it's worth publishing (can you tell I'm looking at all the drafts right now? hahaha).
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I made an offhand remark to my atheist friend that was mocking something which I thought was a ridiculous, ludicrous, unbelievably illogical belief system. I expected it to make him laugh.
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I made an offhand remark to my atheist friend that was mocking something which I thought was a ridiculous, ludicrous, unbelievably illogical belief system. I expected it to make him laugh.
He didn't, and after a moment, I felt extremely ashamed. What had I just done? Just because this belief system looks and sounds totally absurd to me doesn't mean it's not the genuine, heartfelt faith of someone else.
This same friend has listened to me talk about my faith, read the Book of Mormon, and even attended our church. He listened to us pray. He's never laughed at any of it, though he doesn't believe it.
We spent a long time last year talking about his faith. I guess he's a special atheist because he admits that the lack of belief is its own kind of faith. His perception of himself and his approach to faith is striving for humility, which is something I admire.
So, last week in church the entire theme was about missionary work. This is a pretty common occurrence; my church is very "into" that. But there was a bit of a different take. My brain is a little bit fuzzy right now about the details, but what I seem to vaguely remember was the theme was about, "getting along with people of other faiths." We talked about this in sacrament meeting, Sunday School, and Relief Society.
I've only read the first three books of C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia. My friend Meghan made a comment about the last book, about this character who spent their whole life serving Tash, but actually was serving Aslan without knowing it. She went into more details. But basically, Aslan is quite an overt symbol of Jesus Christ through the whole series, and this particular character was supposed to be about people who try to do what they believe is right, but for some reason are misguided in their beliefs. Lewis's point was that people who try to choose the right, whether they are serving God or not, are doing good, and their efforts will matter; that people aren't consigned to an everlasting hell for their lack of knowledge and understanding of who Christ is. This is a very comforting thought, and it's kind of funny that it's made by a non-Mormon, though he is admittedly extremely beloved by our community, and quoted in almost every session of General Conference.
I feel so uncomfortable thinking, let alone saying, "your deeply held religious/pseudo-religious convictions are misguided." I don't like being a missionary like Samuel the Lamanite.
I would much rather be like Ammon.
If you think about it, Ammon was a prince. He didn't believe in God. He persecuted the people in the church. Then an angel came and told his friend Alma to stop it. He became converted and went on a mission to the Lamanites, which was extremely successful. So successful that it had extremely long lasting affects on many, many generations of people!
But how did he serve?
He was a friend. And he was his genuine self.
He used his skills and talents that he had developed, things that were really personal to him. As a prince, he would have had all kinds of special military training. It's not everybody who can use their strength and warrior skills - specifically, the ability to cut off arms! - in order to share the gospel.
So how was this guy a great missionary? It was by serving them. He paid such great attention to detail that after he delivered the arms of the enemies, he went to water the king's horses, which totally shocked the king.
Why would he do that? To somehow trick the King into listening to him? Maybe a little bit. But mostly I think it was because he genuinely loved the King. He genuinely cared about these people he was serving. It wasn't by laughing at their misguided traditions and beliefs.
I personally feel like most belief systems in this world do contain some elements of truth, and that actually includes "atheism" (though I'd hardly call that a "system" because it's not organized). Maybe one very deep truth that my friend taught me through his example is a deep appreciation of humility.
If God called me to stand a wall and tell everybody to repent, I would do it. That isn't my calling right now. My calling is to be a good friend, to be kind and respectful, to be a good wife and mother, and for some crazy reason, I also feel very strongly that it is important for me to learn Czech. Maybe there is a way that my learning of Czech can help with missionary work in the world. I believe success will come in being my genuine self, not being a crazy overzealous weirdo. This includes sharing my thoughts, feelings, and experiences about religion, since they are a huge part of my life. It also includes not mocking (even in thought) the faith of others.
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