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Friday, July 19, 2019

Where does nudity belong?

Where does nudity belong?

Let's define nudity as exposing private parts of the body so that they can be seen by others. Let's define private parts as the buttocks, penis, vagina, or breasts of a human being.

Clearly, these are natural body parts. They belong on people. Sometimes they should be seen. For example, if you are at the doctor and you're getting your prostate examined for cancer, your penis should be visible. Or if you are in the hospital and you're delivering a baby, your vagina should be visible. Or if you are changing the diaper of an infant, that nudity should be visible. Sometimes it's not about visibility at all, but purely about function. For example, if you are getting dressed in a changing room. Or if you're peeing in a urinal. Or if you're breastfeeding that infant. The nudity in these situations is all basically amoral. In other words, the purpose of the nudity doesn't have to do with whether or not it's good or bad. It's functional and necessary. It belongs.

However, just because it is amoral does not make it asexual; human sexuality is involved here. After all, a big purpose human sexuality and maybe even its primary function, is to produce offspring. When you're in labor, isn't that literally what you're doing? Of course childbirth is connected to human sexuality. Of course things connected to human sexuality are not asexual. Duh.

Another obvious example of where nudity belongs is during sex with your spouse. Here we leave the world of "shoulds" and instead move into "coulds." It's no longer amoral, it is about morality. It is deeply concerned with right and wrong. Surely, you could use your imagination to think about ways in which nudity in sex might be "right" or "wrong." Those limits are really personal and unique to every individual couple, and a lengthy discussion about these possibilities definitely doesn't belong here.

I believe that while some nudity is not explicitly sexual, none of it is ever completely asexual. I believe that there are a lot of loud voices in my western culture trying to convince the world that nudity can be asexual, therefore it belongs in a lot more public places. I think this message is a lie. I strongly dislike this lie. I find it to be beyond deeply irritating - it's infuriating. The problem is not that people believe differently than me, it's that they impose their different beliefs on me by plastering images of naked people everywhere.

My belief is human sexuality should be private because people should follow the law of chastity, which is complete abstinence outside of marriage and complete loyalty within it. When nudity is plastered where it doesn't belong, the message everywhere is, "let's talk about sex, baby!" Literally. That's not private.

Isn't the claim that nudity is never asexual the same as saying pictures of hamburgers are always anti-vegan? Well, flashy adverts of hamburgers literally are always about eating meat (or something like unto it). Is pro-meat always anti-vegan? Maybe. Is pro-sex always anti-chastity? Definitely, definitely not! There's a LOT of room for sex in chastity. I have five kids.

My culture bombards me with messages about sex at all times and in all things and in all places. Last weekend, the music floating down from the parade float - horribly filthy and worse still - violent! And in the presence of tons of blissful oblivious children. I was so ashamed. What kind of world are we giving to them? What kind of messages are we teaching them about how people are supposed to function in relationships? It fills me with fury. I want a world where even if people don't obey the law of chastity, they still allow me and my children to do it peacefully. How can I participate in even very basic social activities like walking in a parade with my kids and also stick to my values and standards? Basically, shut my ears and squint?

Nobody is going to argue that the music I heard was not about sex. To do so would be completely ludicrous. Lyrics like "'Cuz if you're under him you ain't gettin' over him" lack any kind of subtlety. You know what annoys me far, far more than dirty lyrics of pop songs that everybody will forget in a few years? The so-called "sophisticated" glorification of the female form in art (especially painting) that is just a lie: let's not kid ourselves, it's just porn by skilled craftsmen.

I love the style of French Impressionism. It is beautiful, different, innovative. My favorite museum in France, besides the Rennes Musée des Beaux-Arts was the Musée d'Orsay. Do you know how many naked people adorn the halls of that building? Do you know how weird it is, the experience of walking around these huge galleries, seeing female body parts (which I possess) displayed in all kinds of states - some grotesque, some clearly seductive, some completely ridiculous (like, they didn't even try; but neither does Barbie, so...), some just super weird. To me, the message is clearly, "Women are for sex." That is deeply against my values. I am not "for" sex. I am a human being.

You ask, what does "looking like you" have anything to do with it? And don't these bodies look different - all different sizes, shapes, colors, etc.? The fact that I share the basic anatomical structures with these nude women on the walls is deeply embarrassing to me. I would never sit naked on a picnic blanket surrounded by a group of men while my buddy is bathing in the background. Never. Yet here we are, sitting here, looking at this painting together of this exact subject. Perhaps I overpersonalize or over-insert myself into the art - and perhaps that is a personal flaw. Yet, think it's a somewhat universal experience. We all look at the art and see ourselves reflected somewhere in it. I don't think I'm supposed to look at myself in the mirror and say, "I am an object. My sole purpose is to pleasure someone else." That is totally evil. See "I am a human being."

You ask, well, can't the message be, "the female body is beautiful"? I am not really sure what you're asking. On the surface, it sounds like you're trying to suggest that female nudity is separate from sexuality, but if that's the case, then where does the "beauty" factor in to any of it? Why exactly do you think it's beautiful? Isn't it because it's a biological fact that male biology is driven wild with desire/pleasure/attraction by the female body? Isn't "nudity in art is about the female body being beautiful" just another way of saying, "Men have historically designed and ruled the world, so men decide what kinds of beauty 'count'."

Yes, of course that message is annoying to me! Adding a proportional amount of penises (peni? Pene? Penum?) to the melee is not the answer!

Honestly, the answer is straightforward: I will choose to be careful about the media I consume. Yes, that means I will forgo movies, films, paintings, books, music, and any other kind of entertainment which I deem to be unacceptable. Or in other words, if there is anything beautiful, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy, I will seek out those things.

Turns out there's quite a lot of excellent, interesting, valuable, well-crafted stuff that is not filthy, and filtering is another potential solution in some instances. I don't need to waste my time feeling sad about what I'm missing when I choose to uphold my values, and neither do you.

If you don't share my opinion about where nudity belongs, that's fine. I promise I will not judge you very harshly, and that we can still be friends. Sometimes it can be really painful and difficult to navigate the media in this world, and sometimes I don't do a perfect job upholding my own values. I ask you to not be too harsh on me when I end up caving to hypocrisy. I, too, am not perfect.

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