Baby vs. Big Girl

Jane and I started having a conversation about the difference between being a baby and a big girl.

Babies

(pros)

• Don't get in trouble for making mistakes, because they don't know any better
• Don't know how to talk
• Can cry and whine without getting in trouble because that is the only way they know how to talk

(cons)

• Have to take lots of naps
• Can't choose what clothes to wear
• Can't choose what food to eat
• Have to eat lots of mushy food and drink lots of bottles with milk
• Are only allowed to play with boring baby toys, like rattles

Big Girls

(pros)

• Can take rests instead of naps
• Can choose what clothes they can wear
• Can choose what foods they can eat
• Can eat tasty food
• Can drink out of cups instead of bottles.
• Can play with fun toys like dress ups, cars, and draw
• Can talk instead of whine

(cons)

• You have to take care of your toys
• You have to be obedient
• You have to be obedient quickly
• You have to be kind to your brothers
• Sometimes things don't happen the way you want them to, and then you just have to say, "oh bummer."
• Need to use words instead of crying for things you want

Now that we've had this discussion, which I really thing she "gets", when she starts whining or throwing a tantrum, I will ask her if she is acting like a big girl, or like a baby. If she is acting like a baby, then I will treat her like a baby, and put her to bed. But if she wants to be a big girl, she will stop crying and use her words. 

This is just a huge, massive process. I think the main mistake that I have made so far has to do with toys. Even if Jane can play with them, I can't expect her to be able to prevent her brothers (who definitely cannot) from playing with them. That's not really fair, because it's really difficult to play AND protect at the same time. The mistake I made this morning was with crayons. Jane wanted to color. I let her have a box of crayons in the play room, and let John Rex play in there too, so I could go change an exploding diarrhea diaper (Dan's). I came back to John Rex crouching on top of the table with a crayon in his mouth, and crayons all over the place, and Jane oblivious. 

So basically, "big girl" toys will have to be supervised until the baby is a big boy. Except like...dress ups. But even those - yeah. This is basically one of the difficulties of being a parent to three small kids. The toys have to be less than or equal to the level of the youngest child at home. Maybe it would be more difficult, though, if I had an 8 year old who loved legos, and an infant at the same time. Except the 8 year old is more capable of cleaning up legos than my 3 year old. I've been at peoples' homes where the 3 year old is the baby. 

Kind of sad that she doesn't get to be the "baby" as long as she might have. However, looking at those pros/cons lists, I definitely think that being a "big girl" is well worth giving up some of the pros of being a baby. I could make the same list comparing "big girl" to "mom." It's definitely worth it to be a mom, some of the pros I get. Mostly having to do with my own expanded ability to choose for myself.