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Monday, May 25, 2020

Grouchy about sexism

Sexism.

A perineally interesting topic.

Deeply personal.

Utterly and exasperatingly unresolvable.

Someday when the heavens open and we can see truth as it really is, we will have a very different view of the world, the actions that mattered and the measure of true influence. Because it's not even enough to try to measure "a woman's lot" in her ability to raise the subsequent generation of world leaders. Isn't that still saying only those flashy, splashy people who made headlines are the ultimate measure of "mattering"?

We can try to measure influence in these modern times with likes, views, and comments, but it boils down to the same inherent conflict I've written about before: art vs. advertising.

It just sucks that I am on the end of lesser privilege in this particular battle. It frustrates me to not be acknowledged for the very real differences in my soul. It is really dehumanizing to feel surrounded by a male perspective, a traditional male point of view of "self", masculine values, and no real consideration of my own internal reality. Whether through the eyes of classic literature or a modern video game, it boils down to the same thing: this doesn't represent me. I am not validated.

I believe I'm worth validating because I am human.

I'm not a man-hater. In fact, I find men much more comfortable to be around. They make more sense. They are interesting. They are much easier for me to read.

Women are confusing, frustrating, and often far more boring (to me). I struggle with female relationships. But I guess I just struggle with *all* relationships.

This is not even worth the time to straighten out. The ideas are impossible for me to resolve. I think the best I can do is just hope that God will resolve them someday.

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